Five People You Meet in Heaven, Severus Snape
by Still believes Snivellus aka Heather Granger
Summary: AU after HBP It was Severus's birthday, but it was also the day that he died. For some the end is just the beginning. A story about Severus Snape's life, based on the hit book by Mitch Alboom. Please read now COMPLETE!
1. Beginning

Five People You Meet in Heaven, Severus Snape

By

Snivellus aka Heather Granger

**SSS ( break in story)**

**A/N: Important, I know that HP and religion is a touchy subject so if you are offended by any way about talking about God and Heaven in the realm of HP, please do not read this story, that is unless you want to. But, don't say I didn't warn you. **

**Also, this is obviously follows along the lines of the story Mitch Alboom's "Five People You Meet in Heaven" I really want to get this one right, so if you have suggestions please make them in the reviews section. **

**I will give 5 galleons to anyone who can correctly guess all five people that Severus will meet.**

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Every life has a beginning and an end. For some it is shorter than others, and for others it feels as if goes on forever. Severus Snape was a man who lived and died. This story begins at the end. It may seem as an odd place to begin, but for Severus, his death was just the beginning.

**SSS**

It was two hours until Severus died. Had he known that he was going to die this day, he most likely would not have gone to work. At the time of his death, Severus was a tall slender man with a scar of where a tattoo had been on his left forearm. His black eyes had not lost any of its original luster, but his once ebony hair now was silver and lay lank in front of his face. His nose pointed and crooked was his trademark. He walked with a limp, which he had received during the second war.

**SSS**

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, England's premiere school for underage witches and wizards, the grandest castle on the Highlands. Young witches and wizards have been coming to this fine academia for centuries. This is the place where Severus had lived and died.

You see, Severus was a teacher, a job which most regarded as a highly rewarding job, however he did not see it this way. To Severus, it was all he knew, and all he could ever become. His father made sure of that.

Day after day, he would lecture his students, trying to penetrate their thick skulls, wishing that one student may show an interest, that one student would understand the purpose. Most people live their lives hoping that their life means something, that what they did on earth made some sort of a difference, but for Severus it was different.

Severus had spent his life trying to go unnoticed. He never asked for anything, never questioned his elders, and never tried to start a row. But it seems, that trouble always found him. Severus felt that he had lived a nothing life. He was a nobody whom no one cared for. His students feared him, his co-workers disliked him, and even his own father hated him.

**SSS**

It was an hour until Severus died, and he was doing what he did everyday, walking into his Potions classroom, slamming the door behind him. His cane clinking with each step he took. As he looked around his classroom, he saw all the worktables lined with cauldrons. Students idling around their tables talking about the weekend's Quidditch match.

Severus sneered, how he despised the young. He was young once, but never as carefree as the students he now taught. It had been years since the wars, and yet it plagued him daily. Everyone he once knew, was now gone. Albus had died years ago along with Minerva. Severus cursed himself today was his birthday and he was about to die alone.

**SSS**

"Longbottom!" Severus cried out.

"Sorry sir, I just, I didn't mean to sir." A young first year girl with black curly hair mumbled.

"So help me, Longbottom, you are as cursed as your father, with a brain like your mother's. However, do you manage? Your potion making skills are abysmal to say the least. Or perhaps it is your sheer clumsiness, I cannot tell the difference." He growled.

"Sir, I can re-make it, please, I can do better." The girl cried.

"Very well, you will stay after and re-make the potion, by yourself!" Severus enunciated.

"Yes sir." She replied as she banished her ruined potion.

Nora Longbottom, daughter of Neville and Hermione Longbottom, one of the few children of those who survived the war. Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, Draco Malfoy, all dead because of the Dark Lord, and there was nothing he could have done to change that.

Nora was very bright, but extremely clumsy. She caused disaster wherever she walked. Severus could not help but smirk at the odd combination. He had always imagined Miss Granger marrying someone like Weasley, but he supposed that she had to settle; everyone had to settle who lived.

'Miss Longbottom, I have taken the liberty of sparing myself and my floor of your devastation by providing you the ingredients right in front of you." Severus said as he sat marking essays.

"Yes sir." She said quietly.

"You may begin." Severus stated harshly.

Severus read essay after essay, all saying the same thing, 'I hate potions, why do we have to take this stupid subject' as Severus best summarized. If they gave two sickles about Potions then they would have taken the time and researched the topic. There were at least twenty ways to address how to make a healing salve, but all the student's essays only quoted what was directly in their texts. Oh the insanity of it all.

**SSS**

It was thirty minutes until Severus died, as he glanced up and Miss Longbottom. She was busy chopping up and preparing her ingredients. Severus's eyes glanced to the magical window. It was a relatively nice day for October. Headmistress Abbott insisted that he move his potions class to a brighter room. Despite all his objections, they compromised on a magic window.

Severus had made many compromises in his life, some, which he agreed with, others he still fully objected. For Severus, life had never been easy, and it all started when he was born.

**SSS**

_It was his birthday._

_"A boy, humph, at least you have done something right Emily." A man grunted as he looked down at his newborn son._

_"What shall we call him, Dorian?" Emily Snape asked her husband not letting her eyes off her son._

_"I shall call him Severus." Dorian said._

_"Severus? Don't you think that is a little rough for a child?" She asked innocently._

_"Are you questioning me, Emily?" He warned._

_"No, of course not, Severus is a fine name, isn't it little one?" Emily cooed._

_"I have to go back to work now." He stated and turned from the room._

_"It is just us, little one. My Severus. You're all I have. Promise me you'll love me forever and I will love you."_

**SSS**

It was ten minutes until Severus's death, and yet the birds sang a harvesting song outside. The clock kept ticking and people kept on with their own lives.

Severus watched carefully as Nora was putting ingredients in her cauldron, pausing ever now and again to check the directions. Severus placed his quill down and watched her.

He remembered the first time he made a potion. How Severus despised it. His father breathing down his neck cursing him every time he made a wrong motion. He truly hated potions when he was young, but it was all that he could do to please his father, Potion Master of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

"Miss Longbottom." Severus spoke.

"Yes, sir?"

"What color is your potion now?"

"Um, well I guess it is a sort of bluish color." She spoke fearfully.

"It appears, now you are doing something correct!" He said sarcastically.

"Yes, sir." She shied away.

"Miss. Longbottom, are you afraid of me?" He questioned.

Nora sat thinking how best to respond.

"No sir." She responded.

"Perhaps just a little?" Severus prodded.

"A little sir." She confessed.

"Do you despise me, like the rest of your House?" He asked again.

"Despise you? No, you saved many people from the war. My mum said you were very brave. I do not despise you sir."

"Then I shall think more of you next time." Severus responded, taking up his quill again.

"Thank you sir."

**SSS**

It was one minute until Severus's death, and looking back it all felt as if it were in slow motion. Severus looked up and saw that Nora had an odd looking ingredient in her hand. One that he knew did not belong in the required potion. He scanned his potion's cabinet and saw that the Sulferdell was not there.

His mind quickly replayed back to the moment when he had retrieved the ingredients for her. He had grabbed the wrong ingredient. It was his fault that she was about to add the highly toxic ingredient into a potion that would cause a horrible explosion.

Severus watched as she dropped the Sulferdell into the cauldron. Acting quickly, he thrust back his chair, and hobbled as quickly as he could towards her. Nora's eyes grew wide, in fear that he was going to attack her. Nora froze in place, while Severus tried to tell her that the potion was going to explode.

Severus's leg gave out and he fell on the worktable, knocking the potion on the ground, he felt her hand as he hit the stone floor, then it went black. Severus felt nothing. He felt in a haze, had he saved the girl? Did she get out? He was not sure.

**SSS**

Severus felt cold, very cold as if he were swimming in the murky depths of the Hogwart's lake. He felt a shiver down his spine. He had not felt this cold since the day he took the Mark. He felt someone grab his shoulders and pull with a jolt. Was it the girl, did she make it out? Did she get help?

Severus now felt warm, the warmest he had felt since the day he was born. It was Severus's birthday, but it was also the day that he died. For some the end is just the beginning.

**SSS**

**TBC…??**


	2. Strangers are Family

**Chapter 2**

Severus's eyes fluttered open. He determined that he was lying on his backside somewhere outside. Upon further inspection, he determined that he had somehow managed to be transported to the Hogwart's grounds. He was lying neatly in front of the Hogwart's lake, the home of the giant squid. How did he get here? He suddenly could not recall anything.

As he pushed himself to a sitting position, he realized that something was amiss. Gone was brown colored grass that covered Hogwarts acres, and the trees were somehow now in full bloom. He surveyed the grounds; it appeared no one was outside. The grounds were empty. Severus thought this very unusual for this time of year. Where were the students?

After he had familiarized himself with his surroundings, he realized that he by some means felt lighter, as if he was young again. His leg no longer ached, and his eyes were no longer tired. Severus stood, for the first time in years without a cane. He began to run. He ran as he had never ran before. He was free and light. He had not felt this way in many years.

As Severus came to a stop back at where he began, not feeling out of breath nor tired. A man, perhaps a little younger than Severus was, began walking towards him. He was wearing a bright blue robe and a wizard's hat with night stars racing about. Severus twisted his head slightly, who was this man. Severus had never seen him before in his life. He went to speak, but no sound came.

"Hello Severus, I have been waiting for you."

**SSS**

Severus went to speak again, but found no voice. He frantically gestured, how did this man know his name? What right did he have addressing him in this manner? Where was he?

"You must have many questions." The man stated.

"Your body feels like a child's does it not? When you first arrive you feel light, like you could fly." Severus nodded, how had he known what he was thinking.

"You cannot speak, I suppose it is God's way of making you listen. Don't worry you will find your voice."

"Where are you? Heaven of course. Every person who enters Heaven will meet five people. Why five? I myself do not know, but I do know that I, just like the other four people in your life were chosen for a reason. We are here to teach you the meaning of life, and the part you have played."

It took a moment for the words just spoken to sink in. Heaven? Had he died? Why was he in Heaven? What kind of cruel joke was this?

"I am not joking Severus, you died, right at this very castle." The man spoke. Severus eyes grew wide and he dropped to his knees.

"This can't be Heaven?" Severus said in barely a whisper.

"Ah, you see this isn't your heaven, this is mine." The man spoke again.

"Who are you?" Severus asked hoarsely,

"Do you not remember me? You were but a child when you knew me." He spoke again.

"Headmaster Dippet?"

"That is right, I was headmaster of this school before Albus Dumbledore. Do you remember?"

Severus had remembered. He was but a young boy when he knew him.

**SSS**

_It was Severus's birthday. He was running through the castle, his mother unaware of where he was. He raced down the dungeon staircase. Severus was five today._

_Severus stopped short of the potion's classroom. He giggled as he was playing a game with himself as lonely children often do. He wanted to surprise his father. Severus's poked his head through the door. His father was teaching. _

_Severus had never been allowed to venture from his rooms outside the castle during the school year. His mother had always told him to stay put, but he grew tired of the same three rooms day after day. A young boy needed adventure, he needed more that his rooms at Hogwarts Castle. _

_Severus leaned on the door, hoping not to disturb his father. Perhaps he leaned a little too heavily on the door because it creaked. Dorian's head snapped to the door. He frowned as he saw the little brat at the door._

_"Keep working!" Dorian yelled as he glided to the door where his son's eyes grew fearful._

_"What are you doing out here?" He yelled._

_"Daddy, its my birthday." Severus whined._

_"I do not care if it is the Queen's birthday, how dare you disrupt my class." He hissed._

_"I am sorry daddy." Severus hung his head._

_"I will give you something to be sorry about." Dorian swept his hand across the young boy's face. Severus wanted to cry, but he knew that it would only constitute more hitting._

_"Now get back to your mother!" He yelled. Dorian turned his back on his son. He slammed the door to the Potions classroom._

_Severus watched as his father left him. He was trying so hard not to cry. It was his birthday! Severus sniffled as he reached the top stair in front of the Great Hall._

_"Are you lost?" Said a man in blue robes and a wizard's hat with stars racing about._

_"No..No sir." He sniffled._

_"You must be Severus? Is that right?" The man said._

_"Yes sir." He said quietly._

_"My name is Headmaster Dippet. Why were you crying Severus?" He asked._

_"I wasn't crying." Severus denied._

_"Then what are these?" The headmaster said as he wiped away the little boy's tears._

_"It's my birthday!" He cried again._

_"Well, that is no reason to cry."_

_"I just wanted to see my daddy." Suddenly it made sense to the Headmaster. Dorian was teaching, most likely unhappy about being disturbed._

_"Severus, how about we go to the kitchens and I get you a cake, would you like that?" The Headmaster asked._

_Severus nodded his head._

**SSS**

"Tell me do children still enjoy the lake? Do they study outside in the summer?" The Headmaster asked as he looked out at the vast body of water that covered the grounds outside the castle.

"Uh, yes I suppose they do." Severus said unsure how to address the man.

"You know, I loved the water, I suppose it was my time in Egypt made me grateful for the green grass and ocean coastlands of England."

"I put this lake in, did you know?" The man asked again.

"I believe the Headmaster mentioned something to me." Severus said, pausing thinking about his mentor.

Something felt out of place to Severus. As he looked around, he noticed that the castle was not as old as he last knew it. There was no stands around the Quidditch pitch, and Hagrid's little hut was nowhere on the grounds.

"My name is Armando Dippet, I was born in the late 1800's near Hogwarts. My father worked for the Ministry, my mother taught young magical children before they entered the school. My time as a student at Hogwarts was uneventful. I excelled in Ancient Runes, and I decided to go to Egypt after graduating and helped wizards decipher the hieroglyphs that were found on magical pyramids.

You may wonder how then, I became the Headmaster of Hogwarts. Well it occurred in a rather unconventional way. You see the previous Headmistress had taken ill, and my father, who became the Minster of Magic, had suggested that I fill her place until she recovered. I was young, very young for a Headmaster. I had never taught, nor had I ever really though much about teaching.

The Headmistress never did return, and I was signed into the position at the beginning of the next term. I lived through the evils of Grindelwald, and had to deal with the constant politics of the ministry.

I was young and stupid when Tom Riddle entered his first year. I should have paid more attention when he had come to school. How ignorant I was. If I were to know the evils that he came to possess, I would have intervened. Nevertheless, enough dwelling in the past, you must have questions."

"Why are you telling me this? I don't even know you."

"I have my reasons." There was a pause.

**SSS**

"How long ago, did I die?" Severus asked.

"A day, a month, a thousand years. Time is of no significance here."

"How did I die?" Severus asked again.

"Potions accident." He stated. Severus's mind raced. He now remembered everything, the Sulferdell, the girl. Had he saved the girl?

"There was a girl, did she get out? Did I save her?" Severus asked.

"I cannot answer that, but someone else can."

"Then my life was truly a waste." Severus sighed.

"No one's life is a waste, for we all have a part to play and I am here to teach you a lesson in which will help you piece together the meaning of life. I am one of many people who had interactions with you in life, and now in death you will understand why." Headmaster Dippet confessed.

He began walking and beckoned Severus to follow. Severus began taking long strides, strides in which he had not taken since he was a young man.

"How did you die?" Severus asked as he now walked side by side with the slightly odd looking wizard.

"You killed me."

**SSS**

"No! You must be mistaken, I barely knew you." Severus said in disbelief.

"Yes, I know we barely knew each other, but it was you killed me."

"How could have I killed you?" Severus asked still in disbelief.

"It was an accident of course. You were only a child." Armando stated.

Severus did not know how to respond. He had killed a man, as a child no less. How was his life of any importance? The Headmaster seemed undisturbed by the fact that Severus was the one who killed him.

"I was born with a condition which made me vulnerable to potions. If the slightest drop would touch my skin I would become violently ill." Armando explained.

"Do you remember? You were in your father's potions lab without permission." He asked Severus again.

Severus did remember, he remembered how much he was punished by his father afterwards. He never understood why his father had been so angry.

**SSS**

_Severus was almost six years old. He stood on a wooden block, so that he could reach the workbench in his father's Potion's classroom. He was busy pouring all different types of potions with different hues into a large black cauldron. Severus was pretending to be his father. _

_"Now listen to me you dunderheads! We will be brewing the imaginary friend potion. Begin!" Severus imitated his father._

_Severus took out his toy wand and pretended to make magic and transform his potion into the one thing he really wanted, a friend._

_"Severus, I do not think your father would like you playing in there." Headmaster Dippet said to the little boy causing to spill one of the potions onto his hands. Severus quickly wiped his hands on his robes._

_"Sorry Headmaster." Severus said hanging his head._

_The Headmaster waved his wand and the mess disappeared._

_"Come with me." The headmaster said holding out his hand._

_"Yes sir." Severus took hold of the man's hand. The little boy noticed him cringe as he touched the man's hand._

**SSS**

"I had a potion on my hand. You should have said something!" Severus hissed angrily.

"You needed a friend Severus, that was more important at the time, than a little reaction to a potion." Armando explained.

"But, you died! Because of me, you're dead!" Severus yelled angrily, not understanding.

"Severus, you grew up alone. You were in a castle full of children, and yet you were never allowed to play with them. You knew more magic at the age of six than most second years, but your father always expected you to act beyond your years. I may have failed Tom, but I swore that I would never fail another child."

**SSS**

_"But I don't want to go!" Severus whined._

_"GET DRESSED!" His father yelled._

_"Come on my good little boy, lets find your shoes." His mother coaxed._

_"Mummy, why do we have to go?" He whined again._

_"Sometimes sad things happen, and we have to deal with them." Emily tried to explain._

_"But it's my birthday!" Severus moaned again._

_Dorian came back into his son's room and threw his son down on the bed. He grabbed the shoes out of Emily's hand and shoved them onto his feet. Severus kicked and screamed, wishing his father to stop._

_"Daddy stop! Daddy you're hurting me!" Severus cried._

_"Finish getting him ready Emily." Dorian slammed the door behind him._

_The Snapes were standing on a hill, there were several other witches and wizards standing around. Severus stared at a large coffin. He sniffed his nose, still upset at what his father had done._

_An older wizard looked intently at the boy. The man noticed how rigidly the little boy stood. His eyes were red and puffy and he kept rubbing his hand over his shins. The man knew that he wasn't crying over the funeral, for he was too young to understand. _

_'This must have been about something else.' He thought. _

_Severus glanced over to the wizard and met his deep blue gaze._

**SSS**

That was the first time Severus had met Albus Dumbledore, the next Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Severus pulled him back to the conversation at hand.

"But it was so trivial, if I wasn't so stupid, so childish. Why did you do that for me? I barely knew you." Severus protested, still angry with himself.

"I may have died, but you lived, and you did great things with your life. You may not think that you have, but I assure you that you would not be here if you did not."

"We were practically strangers." Severus said.

"Strangers are simply family that you have yet to meet." Armando said, now walking towards the castle's main entrance.

"My time with you is now over. I wish you the best of luck." The Headmaster said, extending his hand.

Severus took his hand and felt part of this man's life pass through him as he vanished, leaving Severus alone once again.

**A/N: Surprised at who I picked? I realize that in cannon, Headmaster Dippet was the headmaster circa 1940's but I do not believe JK Rowling has said specifically when Dumbledore became headmaster; so I took liberties, forgive me. Please review.**

**Thanks to Turtle, Silverthreads, Hannah, and Lilith11.**


	3. Sacrifices are a part of life

**Chapter 3**

The scene faded before Severus. The Hogwarts grounds faded underneath his feet, and he found a new scene replacing it. The green grass that he was standing on was now replaced with dead heather. The foothills in the distance disappeared, and all he could see was miles and miles of moor. Severus knew this place, he knew it well.

Wand fire exploded over his head. Severus hit the ground. He was back in his past. This was the final battle, where witches and wizards gave their life, so that others could live. Young and old, they fought until one side came out victorious, if you could call it that. After the horrors that occurred, Severus was unsure if anyone had really won. Of course, Voldermort was gone, and the threat of the Dark Mark was now subdued, but at what cost. 'At what cost?' Severus asked himself. How could this be anyone's heaven?

Severus felt stronger now, as he did before he took the mark. His back arched straight, he walked taller now. He remember when he was called to war, little did he know at the time that he had joined the wrong side.

Severus was seventeen, barely a man when he took the mark. Why he had done it, he now did not understand. He was an emotional wreck as a child, being bullied by nearly everyone in his life did not help.

**SSS**

_It was Severus's sixteenth birthday today._

_"Dad, why do I have to do this again?" Severus asked as he cleaned out his cauldron._

_"Because no son of mine will be incompetent in potions." Dorian snapped._

_"Besides your potion could have greased the door hinges." Dorian said tossing Severus a magic cloth to polish his cauldron._

_Severus lit the fire under the cauldron and added the first ingredient. He would glance up at his father every now and then, wanting to hex him._

_"Dad, the Headmaster thinks that I should apply for a job in the Department of Mysteries next year." Severus tried to talk to his father, something that he found very difficult._

_"What a load of rubbish." Dorian brushed off._

_"Dad, I have gotten O's in all my Defense classes, he has even offered to teach me Occulmency."_

_"You will do no such thing." Dorian hissed._

_"Why not?"_

_"How dare you question me? You will never be anything but a Potions Master, just like my father and his father. You have no other path."_

_Severus bent over his cauldron letting his long black hair fall over his face. He did not care what his father said, he would make something of his life, and that did not include potion making._

**SSS**

Young men go to war, sometimes it is because they have to, others because they want to. Always because they feel they are suppose to.

Things with his father only escalated, until it got to the point where no one would tell Severus what to do. Some boys in his house spoke of a man who was teaching the Dark arts to anyone who wished to learn, and Slytherins were guaranteed a place. He weighed his options and found none better. He had made up his mind and not even the Headmaster could convince him otherwise.

His mother was devastated; his father just asked when. Few others knew what he had done; after all he was sworn to secrecy. Severus never expected that Tom Riddle would take it as far as he did. Severus had never used and unforgivable, nor did he have any desire to, but it was asked of him, by both sides.

Looking back now in death, Severus regretted his decision as a young man, but he had in life as well. Severus kept walking through the field, every now and again running to dodge spells firing around him.

**SSS**

Severus reached the front line. He stopped it was here where it had happened, here where he was brought down his knee flared in pain. Horrors flashed through his head.

"Well, it looks like we meet again, my friend." A man spoke causing Severus to turn on his heel.

"Headmaster?" Severus said unbelieving.

"I am no longer Headmaster, Severus, just Albus, but honored nonetheless." He smiled revealing a half sucked lemon drop.

"It has been many years." Severus said.

"Has it? I would not know, time is not marked here." Albus said.

"How is Hogwarts?" Albus asked curious to see what Severus had to say.

"The building is the same as it ever was, the new Headmistress, Hannah Abbott, she put in a wing dedicated to those who fell in the last battle. I finally agreed to a magical window in my classroom, and the students are into things like rap music and dancing."

Having said this, Severus grew sad, realizing that he would never see his Potions classroom again, nor listen to the students gossip. How he loathed Hogwarts, yet it was his home, the only real home he had known.

"And how were you, after the war?" Albus asked looking into Severus's eyes.

"There was no one left, all dead, all gone. The dreamless sleep potion quit working after the third week. I started staying up more in the nights, just to avoid the nightmares. I never wanted this to happen, I just wanted to be something." Severus confessed to his only friend.

"Oh but you were something, you were so critical to the success of the Order." Albus said. Severus snorted.

"Success, what success? Voldermort may have died, but so did you." Severus said.

"I am sorry I had to leave you, but it was my time Severus." Albus said.

"Do you remember when I came to you? The night you had enough?" Albus asked.

"Of course I remember how could I forget."

**SSS**

_It was Severus's nineteenth birthday today, and he was spending it alone._

_Severus was infiltrating the Ministry, and obtaining a list of all the Aurors on staff. This was not what he was planned his life and war to be like. There were no winners, only losers. The Dark Lord killed one of Severus's fellow Slytherins, simply because he had spoken back against the Dark Lord's plan._

_All Severus wanted was to make something of himself, not be someone's minion._

_"Who's in there?!" A wizard called out as he pointed his lit wand towards Severus._

_"Just trying to file some paper work." Severus lied._

_"Let me see it then." The wizard demanded._

_"I have filed it now." Severus said irritably._

_"Then you shouldn't be here, who are you anyway. What department you working for?" _

_"I am new, Department of Mysteries." Severus lied again hoping it was a department the man was not familiar with._

_"Mysteries, eh, you know Johnson then." The man asked scratching his chin._

_"Yeah, Johnson." Severus said._

_"Come with me, Johnson doesn't work in Mysteries." The man said as he grabbed Severus by the shoulder having made up Johnson to catch Severus in a lie._

_He led Severus down a long hallway. He threw open the door with his wand, and shoved Severus in._

_"Sit down, and shut up." The wizard said as he pushed Severus into a chair._

_"What were you doing? And if you try and pull one over on me I swear you'll regret it."_

_"My business is my own." Severus said._

_"Perhaps I will find some Vertiserum?" He threatened. _

_Just down the hall Albus Dumbledore and the Minster of Magic were discussing the current events at Hogwarts._

_"Is that light suppose to be on?" Albus asked gesturing towards the door._

_"Hmm that is curious." The Minister said. The two walked together to the lit room._

_"Ah Alastor, what is going on?" The Minister said as he looked in and saw him pinning Severus against the wall._

_"This slippery snake was sneaking around where his nose does not belong." Alastor cried._

_"Master Snape?" The Headmaster questioned._

_"You know this man?" The Minister asked._

_"Of course, you see I asked him to come, he must have gotten lost." Albus lied. Severus stared at the man, why was he covering for him?_

_"Lost in the file room?" Alastor questioned. Severus unsure how to respond looked back to the Headmaster for help._

_"I had asked him to submit paperwork for a few students. I am terribly sorry, I did not know that he was required supervision." Albus supplied._

_"Alastor, kindly unhand the man." The Minister asked, respectful of the Headmaster's word._

_"I am watching you Snape!" Alastor hissed in his ear. Severus glared back._

_The Headmaster indicated Severus to lead as the three walked out of the room, and back to the lobby where the minister departed. Severus was about to go on his way, but was stopped by the Headmaster's hand on his shoulder._

_"Not so fast, Master Snape, I was wondering if you could perhaps accompany me back to Hogwarts?" Albus said, his blue eyes glistening at him._

_"Very well." Severus conceded._

**SSS**

_Once back in the Headmaster's office, Severus was told to take a seat. _

_The Headmaster's office, he had been here many times before. The most vivid memory being when he was nearly killed by the bloody werewolf._

_"Would you care for a lemon drop?" The Headmaster asked._

_"No." _

_"Is there anything you would like to tell me, Severus?"_

_"No." Severus responded again._

_"Perhaps you can tell me then what you were doing in the file room at the Ministry." There was still no response._

_"I paid you a favor Severus, one I am unlikely to pay again, so if you could kindly tell me what you were doing, you may go on your way." There was something about the Headmaster that made him very persuasive. Severus was unsure of how he was able to control him the way no other wizard could._

_"I was collecting information." Severus said vaguely._

_"For Tom?" Albus asked straightforwardly._

_"Why should I tell you, you'll only turn me in, and if you wanted to do that, you would have let that Auror detain me. Why did you lie for me? What did I do for you?" Severus asked defensively._

_"I know you Severus, I have known you since you were a little boy, do you really want to spend your life taking orders from someone like him?" Albus asked._

_"You see it happening already, first it started out as harmless magic, but lately he has been going to far, asking you to do things that do not interest you. Severus I want to help you, but you have to tell me." Albus tried to persuade._

_"I want to make something of myself. I want to be respected." Severus confessed._

_"Do you really think that He respects you? Severus, there are much better ways to go about gaining respect, than joining a group of dark wizards."_

_"I do not wish to live my father's life!" Severus yelled._

_"Finally, we are getting to the root of the problem." Albus sighed._

_"I hate him and his stupid potions. I wanted to go to University, to work in the Ministry. My father, he is always standing in my way." Severus hissed._

_"Is he really standing in your way Severus, you are much to old now to be told what to do, and you know this. It is your life now Severus, you must decide what you want to do with it."_

_"I cannot just leave. It does not work like that." Severus confessed after they sat in a few moments of silence._

_"I wish it did Severus, but I fear that you may be killed. Tom is growing stronger, and the Ministry is blind to his power. I however am not." Albus said now pacing around his office._

_"What shall you have me do?" Severus asked._

_"I have a proposition for you, although you must realize that the trust must go both ways. I want you to trust me, therefore I will never question your word."_

_"And how can you trust me?" Severus asked._

_"As I said, I have known you since you were a mere child, I know when you are unhappy, angry, sad, deceitful. I can see that through your eyes." Albus responded._

_"Occulmency?" Severus asked._

_"While that is an option, with you I feel it unnecessary, I knew from the moment I saw you tonight that you had taken the Mark. Why? Because you could not bear to look me in the eyes. However, that is not to say that you will not need lessons in Occulmency."_

_"What for?" Severus asked again._

_"How would you like to become a double agent of the Dark Lord?" Albus asked._

_"Why do you need a spy? He poses no threat to Hogwarts." Severus confessed._

_"Not currently no, but I have seen and heard things as of late, and would much rather be prepared. The Ministry's attitude is concerning to me." _

_"How would you know that I won't give information to the Dark Lord." Severus asked skeptical of Albus's plan._

_"Tom Riddle knows practically everything he needs to know about me, and if wishes to know of the goings on of the school, then so be it. I only have on request. I will not tolerate you using the unforgivables."_

_"And if I must at the Dark Lord's command?"_

_"You are far to bright to stoop so low as to use an unforgivable. Can you do this?"_

_"So all I would have to do is report to you information?" Severus asked still unsure._

_"That is correct, you will remain completely anonymous, and if ever captured and questioned by the ministry, I can guarantee your safety, as long as you oblige by my rules." Albus explained._

_"Very well." And with those two word Severus became Albus's inside informant._

**SSS**

"Did you ever wonder why I made you Potions Master, instead of teaching Defense against the Dark Arts?" Albus asked.

"Because my father died, and you had no one else with that amount of extensive knowledge on the subject. That and the fact that you perhaps thought I was a danger to the students teaching Defense."

"It is true, you were remarkably good at Potions, because naturally your father was, but that is not why. I wished you to teach, to have a chance to erase your father's mistakes as a teacher, and make your own. I wanted you to forge your own path, feel like you had the power your father once had over you. That is what you wanted was it not?" Albus looked at Severus.

"I wanted power, true, because I felt I had so little." Severus said.

"Power is not what defines us, it is our choices, our decisions." Albus said.

"Then it must be a mistake that I am here, in Heaven. I made the wrong choices in life, I was nothing to anyone."

"You were something, you helped bring down the Dark Lord. And after the war was over, you continued teaching, not because I had asked you to but because you wanted to. We all make mistakes Severus, the mistake I regret the most is having failed you." Albus conceded.

"It hurt when you cast aside my life, in order to spare those precious Gryffindors from expulsion." Severus admitted.

"I know that now, but that is not what I regret most about our friendship."

"Then what do you regret, you spared me from Azkaban, a fate I surely deserved." Severus stated.

"How is your knee?" Albus asked.

"Fine, no pain. Damm Death Eater, got me from behind. How I hated him for it." Severus said stopping and thinking for a moment.

"Wait, how did you know about my knee, you died before you knew what happened?" Severus asked suspiciously.

**SSS**

_It was the last battle, Severus had been fighting for nearly five hours with no rest. Harry Potter had been taken by Severus to the Dark Lord, in order to show his allegiance. Potter however, was unaware that this would be his final hours. The Order had it all planned out. Severus was to lure the Dark Lord out into the open air of the Yorkshire moors. Aurors would then apparate shortly after Severus's presentation of Potter. One final confrontation to end it all._

_Even Severus thought that Potter had performed extraordinarily well; he had been practicing with Lupin and Moody for the last six months on defenses. Witches and wizards falling everywhere, the sight was too much for Severus. _

_Everywhere he looked the ground was burning, spells being fired left and right. Then it all subsided when a large white orb exploded from the north. Albus had instructed him to search for survivors. Severus ran as fast as he could, still avoiding his former Death Eaters. As he reached the top of the crest, he saw Potter lying on the ground, lifeless. _

_Unsure what to do, he ran over to him. Severus checked for a pulse, any sign of life, but could not find one. Here he kneeled, next to his enemy's son, praying that Harry would live. _

_"Well, well, what a touching scene, I should have know it was you Severus. How like you to be too soft to stay loyal to the Dark Lord." Lucius Malfoy sneered as he looked down point blank at Severus._

_"It is over now Lucius, you can either kill me and loose your soul, or walk away. It is your choice." Severus said to overcome with grief to care._

_"Or, I could kill you escape, and not feel an ounce of regret." Lucius spoke haughtily, pointing his wand at Severus's neck._

_"Do your worst." Severus sneered. _

_Severus closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable, the moment in which he could release all his grief and anguish. However, that moment never came. Severus was hit from behind. His knee collapsed falling into Lucius. Lucius's wand fired and that was the last thing Severus could recall._

**SSS**

"I do not remember much after getting hit. Poppy told me later, that you had died. I wished that I would have just died. I should have died, it would have served as justice for my mistakes." Severus spoke.

"You were meant to live, you still had a purpose. You single handedly made sure that Hogwarts got back up and running, did you not?" Albus asked.

"I felt obligated to you. You were my mentor, my only friend." Severus said.

"That means a lot, Severus, I just hope you still feel that way after I tell you."

"Tell me what?" Severus asked not understanding.

"It was not a Death Eater who cursed you, it was me." Albus said.

**SSS**

"What!" Severus nearly screamed. Severus pulled up his pant leg and now saw the mangled flesh. The scar the curse left was hideous. The medi-witches said they did all that they could do, but the cure was just too strong.

"I understand your anger, hit me if you wish." Albus said still as calm as ever.

Severus pushed the Headmaster to the ground. He was so angry, he had not felt this angry since his father had beat him. Because of the Headmaster, he never walked right again. He was stuck teaching at Hogwarts, because no Ministry office would hire him, seeing as it was too much of a liability.

"Go on, hit me." Albus said, pinned on the ground.

"Why the hell did you do that? Why! I should have died!" Severus cried. Tears threatening to spill. Severus rolled over on his back and stared up at the sky.

"It wasn't your time." Albus said now as he brushed himself off.

"You were so out of your mind Severus, I had seen it before, you were going to let Lucius Malfoy, a spineless man kill you, after the fighting had stopped. I had to save you." Albus explained.

"If you saved me, how did you die?" Severus asked.

"Lucius's killing curse misfired and hit me, unprepared." Albus said.

"Oh god, I didn't know. I am so sorry."

"Life is so unfair." Severus said now unsure what to think, the Headmaster had died to save him.

"Life is not unfair Severus, it is about sacrifice." Albus explained.

"Sacrifice?" Severus questioned.

"Lily sacrificed her life, to save her son's, and I sacrificed my life to save yours. And you my friend, sacrificed your life to try and save a little girl." Albus went on.

"But I do not know if I even saved her, do you know?" Severus asked.

"No, I do not, but that is not the point. We all make sacrifices in our lives, you always seemed to regret your sacrifices. You missed a great part of your life being angry. Life is too short to have regrets, to be angry Severus. Sacrifice is a part of life, just as much as death."

"It is my time to go, now. I hope you can forgive me for your leg." Albus said smiling.

"It is forgiven." Severus finally said shaking his mentor's hand. Albus turned to walk into the distance.

"Wait, why here, why is this your Heaven?" Severus asked.

"You and I do not see the same things. You may see the war, but I see miles and miles of purple heather in bloom. Sheep grazing and children playing, peace and harmony are what brings me the most happiness." Albus said with a twinkle in his eye.

That was the last time Severus ever saw Albus, and he was glad to have finally made his peace with his mentor.

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews from the last chapter! Mikee, Moro, Silverthreads, Lilith11, prexus, Mog, Wettlewash, WeasleyGirl-ca, Lady Cecilia. Most of you might have guessed this person. Obviously I had to include him, after all in the books they seem to have an unspoken respect or friendship. This chapter took me a while, I got stuck several times, so I hope it flows well now. Thanks, I bet none of you will know who I pick for the next person.**


	4. Forgiveness in Death

**Chapter 4**

Albus vanished along with the landscape. Severus was alone once more. He was still in shock that the Headmaster, his only friend had was the one who impaired him. All these years he harbored anger towards one of the Death Eaters in vain. All the nights waking up in the middle of the night, his knee flaring in pain, Severus was unable to think. Images of the war played on constant repeat in his head.

Severus had always told himself that after the war, he would no longer feel the guilt, or the pressure, that he dealt with everyday when Potter was in school. The truth was, that it very nearly got worse. Severus pushed himself into his research and his classes, trying to avoid thinking about all the pain and death. Sleeping and eating became a nuisance, and Quidditch was now merely two hours in which he was too pre-occupied to think of anything else.

His former colleagues were replaced, by students he once taught. He avoided all conversation with them if at all possible. Headmistress Abbott, tried to talk to him. She even approached him about his teaching style, at which Severus promptly dismissed her ridiculous suggestions. Severus withdrew into himself, more so than in the past, and that is how he lived until he died.

**SSS**

Severus was no longer able to glide effortlessly; he now staggered to a tree, which he grabbed for support. It was beginning to snow, and while Severus did not feel the cold, he instinctively wanted to find shelter for protection.

In front of him, Severus saw a town, much like the town of Hogsmeade. There was a narrow street, which had one lamppost, which was conveniently not working. There were a few shops scattered down the little street. All of the stores seemed dark, and not open for business.

Severus continued limping down the street, until he found a small little pub, who still had its lights on. Severus pushed open the door with a shove. The door rang as he entered, letting the staff aware of his presence, but to his surprise, no one even flinched. Severus looked around, he saw an young woman helping a man around his fifties.

Severus looked again at the man, he looked familiar, as if Severus had seen him somewhere before, but was having trouble placing him. The man took his coffee and stood up. As he turned, Severus got a good look at his face. He knew this man, he knew him all too well.

Severus tried grabbed the man by his shoulders, but his hands could not grasp him. Severus's eyes grew in rage. How he had waited for this day, the day when he could let his pent up anger out.

"Dad! Dad, you bastard!" Severus yelled, the man still unfazed.

"Dad! Dad, its Severus!" He yelled at him again, his voice getting a little rough from the emotion that he was trying to fight off.

"He can't hear you." A woman with very old fashioned wizards robes said.

**SSS**

"What do you mean he can't hear me?" Severus asked still upset.

"He is waiting, like the others in here, but he is not waiting for you." She explained.

"But he must, I mean, he is my father." Severus explained his eyes darting from the woman to his father who was now sitting at a table in the corner of the pub.

"I know he is your father, but I am your third person." The woman explained.

"Who are you, I don't even know you." Severus said.

The woman gestured to the woman behind the bar, and spoke.

"That was my great, great, great, great grand daughter. Wasn't she beautiful. Looked just like me." The woman said. Severus looked at the woman, while slightly older, she was quite pretty he thought. She had ebony down to her shoulders, and her eyes were blue. She was wearing a rather unbecoming apron, but looked happy nonetheless.

"It was a shame that she died in childbirth, married a muggle she did, named Tom I think." The woman said sadly. Severus quickly thought of Tom Riddle's mother, but brushed it off, still thinking about his father.

"Why can't my father hear me? Why can't I speak with him?" Severus said still upset.

"He can hear you Severus, just because someone has died, doesn't mean that they stop hearing those in life. He simply cannot respond."

"Your father was a teacher, was he not? Like you?" The woman asked.

"Yes, we both taught potions, but I did not choose to teach potions, it just came to me unwillingly. However, I would not call my father a teacher. He was the farthest thing from one." Severus said angered.

"How old were you when you came to Hogwarts?" The woman asked.

"I was born in the castle."

"You know I always love schools. I loved books as a young girl. I would read anything my parents would put in front of me. Of course, back in my day, there was not Hogwarts to attend. Witches and wizards taught themselves in hiding, afraid of being caught by Muggles."

"How old are you?" Severus asked abruptly.

"I died when I was 133, but I have been waiting for you for nearly a thousand years, but it only feels like a moment here." She explained.

"Who are you?" Severus asked again.

"Follow me." The woman lead Severus out of the pub and down the winding road. At the end of the road, she stopped and pointed into a window of a shop that was originally dark. Severus watched as two witches and two wizards carried on a conversation.

**SSS**

"A hat?" A wizard in red robes asked.

"Yes a hat, I think it is clever idea." One of the witches piped in.

"Well we each have our houses. This way we can sort them can't we." The other witch said who was wearing blue robes.

"Why can't we just sort them ourselves?" The same wizard who spoke before asked.

"Because Godric, we won't be around forever now will we. You want this school to last forever don't you?" The other wizard tried to explain.

"All right, but how are we going to get a hat to know which qualities we want in each individual house?"

"Salazar and I have been working on a spell, that will allow us to put the hat on and think of the qualities that we would best like to see in each of our houses." The witch in blue said.

"Shall we try it then?" The other witch asked.

"Yes, who wants to go first?" The one named Godric asked.

"I shall try it, since I have been working on it the longest." The other wizard said.

The one called Salazar put on the hat and sat perfectly still. He spoke out loud in sort of an incantation the qualities in which the Slytherin House was known to possess. They were making the sorting hat.

"Only purebloods? Salazar that is crazy, Hogwarts should be open to everyone." Godric said after he had heard what qualities the Slytherin house was to possess.

"You have your own house Godric, you may do whatever you wish. However I do not believe that we should allow muggleborns into our school. Look at what the muggles have done, forced us into hiding as it is. Imagine the power they could have over us if their sons or daughters were magical. I say it is better not to associate ourselves with that sort of trouble." Salazar answered back.

"But muggleborn witches and wizards are now turning up alone and abandoned, are we to shun them from education?" Godric yelled back.

"I am simply looking out for the safety of our school." Salazar tried to explain in a loud tone.

"No, I think you just want to protect yourself Salazar." Godric raised his voice.

The two witches sat looking at each other, unsure if they should intervene.

**SSS**

The scene faded before Severus's eyes, and was now replaced with one of the Great Hall at Hogwarts. The woman was standing next to him, and began to speak again.

"Poor Salazar and Godric. How foolish of them not to speak to each other again. We were all the best of friends you know. We started out with a dream of a safe place where children of magical background could come and learn. I fear the houses divided more than brought together the students. That was never our original intention you see." The woman explained.

Severus still looked unsure of who the woman was, and why she was showing him this.

"Haven't you ever wondered how the school in which you grew up in and lived your life in was founded?" The woman asked.

"I have read the book." Severus explained.

"My name is Rowena Ravenclaw and I was one of the founders."

"I wasn't really expecting you, I mean I was in Slytherin, if I was to meet one of the founders, it should have been him." Severus said.

"Ah, yes but you know there are some things that books do not tell you." Rowena said walking towards the high table.

"Funny isn't how one little idea can get so out of hand? Muggleborns, and half-bloods. We are all the same are we not? Even the muggles share qualities with us. Having magic is just a small part of who we are in life."

"You are talking to the wrong man, miss, I believed in purebloods, I was taught to shun any others. I joined a cause whose soul purpose was to purge the country from mudbloods."

"But you became a spy for the other side did you not?"

"Yes, but..."

"But nothing Severus, we grow up learning what we know, your father was a Slytherin, as well as his father before that. It is a pity that Salazar's convictions became so misconstrued over the years. But you saw that what you were doing was wrong. You set a new path. Not all Slytherins have a disregard for rules, not all Hufflepuffs are loyal, and not all Gryffindors are courageous."

Severus stopped and thought about what she just said, it was true, not all Hufflepuffs are loyal, and he knew one Gryffindor who was not courageous.

**SSS**

_"Mum? I came to visit." Severus said. It was his 42nd birthday today._

_"Severus dear! How good to see you. Happy Birthday! Your father's just gone out for some tea, he should be back shortly." She explained cheerfully. Severus looked at her, knowing that his father was not coming back._

_"Mum, dad died remember?" Severus said as he helped her into a chair._

_"Died? But he was just going out." She said confused._

_"He has been dead for nearly twenty years, mum." Severus tried to say without upsetting her. Emily's eyes began to water. She nearly jumped out of her chair and started busying herself with cleaning the kitchen._

_"So mum, how've you been?" Severus said laying his cane next to his chair._

_"Fine Severus fine, busy, you know Madame Caldwell wants another order of sheep tongue, so I have been working on pickling them." Emily explained as nothing had happened earlier._

_"You know Madame Caldwell just wastes them, with her meaningless experiments." Severus said._

_"Well, at least she uses them." Emily said more distantly._

_Severus picked up book beside him, and began reading it. Emily was busy trying to forget what she had said earlier. She was not crazy, but she did blame herself for what happened all those years ago._

_"Oh Severus, it was all my fault. I am such a coward." Emily now stood at the sink sobbing. Severus stood up and walked towards his mother._

_"Mum, we have been over this before, dad died because he made a potion incorrectly." Severus was never really moved by his father's death, after all he was the one who had caused him all his problems._

_"I should have stopped him, I knew it was dangerous. I am such a coward." Emily said in between tears._

_"Mum, why are you defending that man, he was arrogant and made his own mistakes, for gods sakes he hated me." Severus sneered._

_"Do not speak of things you do not understand." Emily said walking towards her bedroom and shut the door._

_Another happy birthday memory for Severus._

**SSS**

"My mother, a Gryffindor, was a coward. She should have left my father. Why did she stay? She should have stopped him from hitting me all those times." Severus said upset.

"Your mother was right Severus, you should not speak of things you do not understand."

"You talk of the situation as if you knew." Severus commented.

"Perhaps you are right, I do not understand, but your father loved you Severus." Rowena said.

"Yes, I think his beatings as a child really showed his love don't you think." Severus said sarcastically.

**SSS**

Rowena walked over to a portrait of the founders, and started to examine it, tracing it with her finger.

"Curious don't you think that there was only ever heirs of Slytherin and Gryffindor." Rowena said.

"I had never thought about it, to tell you the truth." Severus said.

"How I loved Salazar." Rowena said reminiscently.

"Pardon me?" Severus asked, never hearing any such companionship between the two founders.

"As I said, not everything is written in books."

"Salazar and I fell in love, perhaps it was all that time we spent working on the Sorting Hat, or maybe it was the way he understood me better than anyone else. Whatever the case, I loved him. We had a son together, and that is how the heir of Slytherin was born.

Godric's heir was conceived by his wife, a muggle by the name of Bridget. They had a daughter, Amile, they called her. Amile grew up and went to Hogwarts along with my son. Without our knowledge, the two fell in love, but it was not to be, when Salazar forbid him to marry Godric's daughter. My son then had an arranged marriage to a pureblood, and Amile ended up marrying a Potter. Sound familiar Severus?" Rowena said, looking into his eyes.

Severus knew very well what she was talking about, but pushed aside the memories.

"Enough about me, perhaps we should talk more about your father, it is after all the reason I am here." She said as the scene of the Great Hall faded before him, and was replaced with St. Mungos. The room was light blue, the sun shone in from the east. Severus had been here before.

**SSS**

_It was Severus's 21st birthday, and he was spending it in St. Mungos. His father was in a potions accident. Severus was unsure of the contents of the potion, but he had never seen a reaction such as this to a potion._

_The medi-witch said that he was unconscious, and running a very high fever. Severus looked over to his father. He looked weak, something Severus rarely saw. Dorian's skin was pale and sallow. His lips were a bluish tint. It sent a chill down Severus's spine._

_"Thank you Madame Norrell." He heard his mother say._

_"What did she say, mum?" Severus asked, his voice disconnected._

_"Oh, Severus." His mother cried as she wrapped her arms around her son. It was a rather odd sight. Severus was nearly a foot taller than his mother was and he could look down on her head when she hugged him._

_"Stupid man and his stupid potions." Severus mumbled as his mother continued to cry into his chest._

_Severus's father died a week before Christmas, leaving his mother in a very difficult position, Hogwarts had been her home, and now with her husband gone, she feared she would have to leave. Severus was already under enough stress as it was from his job as a rouge Death Eater, now to have to worry about his mother as well._

_The Headmaster had Madame Pomfrey fill in for his father until the end of the term, but seeing as now his father would never be coming back, the Headmaster asked Severus if he would fill the position. _

_Severus was reluctant at first to take the position after all, he hated potions. Well perhaps he did not hate potions; he simply hated the subject because of his father. If he was to teach, he surely wanted to teach Defense against the Dark Arts, but it was filled by none other than Remus Lupin's father, Rowland Lupin._

_Severus knew he needed to stay close to look after his mother, so he took the position and started to teach. He despised how ungrateful his students were. He never understood why they would take things for granted as they did. There was however, one good aspect that he found with teaching, and that was the ability to do research. _

_After a year of teaching, his hatred for potions seemed to dispel, along with his seething anger towards his dead father, and he found potions rather intriguing. He became so talented at potions, that he was able to fool the Dark Lord into letting him brew potions for him, which would in fact hurt him more than help him, thus helping the newly formed Order of the Phoenix._

**SSS**

"You came to enjoy potions, you even created a potion to help alleviate a werewolf's pain, did you not?" Rowena asked.

"Yes, I suppose, but I only did it because I was curious of the end result, not because I truly wanted to help them.

"Nevertheless, your potion helped many werewolves, especially your peer, Remus Lupin." Rowena said.

Severus thought back to the day when he found the documents containing early versions of the Wolfsbane potion.

**SSS**

_Severus was going through his desk in the Potions classroom after a double period of Gryffindors and Slytherins, searching for a headache relief potion, but instead found a document that contained an experimental potion. It was entitled Werewolf's Bane. Severus read the document several times through, and determined that whoever had been working on this potion had spent quite a bit of time and money trying to prefect it._

_Severus's mind was now intrigued by this potion, and decided that he would test it. The first time Severus attempted the potion a week later, he nearly blew up the classroom, but as the weeks went on, he found tiny errors in which he would correct. Finally, nearly a half a year later from when he began, Severus solved the puzzle and renamed the potion Wolfsbane._

_He found it ironic that he had solved a potion that would temporarily relieve a werewolf's pain in transformation. How he detested the Gryffindor werewolf, and his stupid little friends. He did not complete the potion for Lupin or anyone else for that matter, it was a simply a case of interest in solving the puzzle._

**SSS**

"Your father did love you Severus. Do you see there?" Rowen asked as he walked around his father's bed at St. Mungos and looked on the wall. Severus saw a portrait of a woman, he looked down at the title.

"Rowena Ravenclaw, One of the four founder of Hogwarts." The title read.

"You stopped coming to visit your father after the first week, but he still called out for you in his sleep." Rowena said.

"He was unconscious, and it was his own fault anyway that got him there." Severus said unmoved.

"He would fade in and out of consciousness, until the day that he finally gave in. He did love you." Rowena said as she touched his father's hand.

"Do you know how your father died?" Rowena asked looking back up at Severus.

"Yes, he blew up a potion in his lab." Severus said.

"Do you know what potion he was making?"

"No, and I do not see how this is of any importance." Severus said moodily.

"He was working on a new potion. A potion that he called Werewolf's Bane." Rowena stopped. Severus eyes grew wide.

"My father started that potion?" Severus said as he thought about that day he found it in his desk.

"Yes, you see he was friends with Rowland Lupin, Remus's father. Your father saw how much it hurt him to have a son with such difficulties, so he began researching methods to cure the condition."

"If he cared so much about the werewolf, then why the hell did he not care about me?" Severus asked, almost yelling.

"Your father never knew how to handle you, Severus. When you were a small child he was afraid to hold you because he thought he might drop you. Then when you got older, and you both became distant, he thought that force would make you heed him, the way his own father did to him.

Your father lived through the battles with Grindelwald. He, like you saw things that no person should have to. Your father fought his own battles as well Severus. He was a man just like you." Rowena said looking down at the unconscious man.

"That does not give him the right to have done the things he did." Severus said more resigned than usual.

"No, it does not, after all you were only a child, and how could you know to forgive? But you are older now, and it is time for you to forgive him." She said.

"I cannot forgive him." Severus said.

"Forgiveness, is a part of life as well as death. If we did not forgive each other, then the world would be much worse off. Your father was a man Severus, he made mistakes; you have made them too. You must forgive your father now." Rowena said, as the scene faded back to the pub where Severus started.

Severus looked at Dorian, sitting alone at a table in the corner. Severus closed his eyes, and searched for a reason to forgive. He had easily forgiven the Headmaster for what he had done, impairing him for nearly half of his life, but yet he could not forgive his father who had caused far more pain on the inside than on the outside.

"Severus, you can forgive, your father wasn't the reason you stayed at Hogwarts, the reason you stayed was out of your love for your mother and for the Headmaster, not because you had to. It was not your father's fault that you became a teacher, it was your destiny." Rowena said.

**SSS**

Severus walked over to the table, and sat across from his father. His father's eyes unable to acknowledge Severus. Severus took hold of his much younger hands and inhaled and exhaled, how he hated to be wrong, to forgive.

"Dad." Severus started. The man still looked right through him.

"Dad, look it's forgiven. Everything that happened, I forgive you." Severus tried to say. His father still sat stiff as before.

"Dad, you don't have to worry anymore, I fixed the potion, I made it for Remus. You don't have to worry. I took care of it." Severus said, trying to hide the emotion behind his voice.

"I... forgive you." Severus said one last time. As those words escaped his lips, he felt lighter, like a weight that he had carried with him his entire life was now lifted from his shoulders.

"I must go, it was nice to meet you Severus Snape." Rowena said as she turned towards the door of the pub.

"Wait, there was a little girl, did I save her?" Severus asked.

"I cannot say, because I do not know. Goodbye Severus." Rowena said, and again Severus was left alone, to wonder if he had saved the girl. Every time he was taught a lesson, it seemed as if a stone was lifted off of his back, stones that he had been carrying since he was a boy.

**A/N: Well what do you think? It is my favorite chapter so far and my longest ever. I am sorry if Severus a little OOC, I have a hard time getting anywhere if I constantly make him unresponsive and brood-like. I figure, he is much older, the war has been over for years, and he is finally seeing glimpses of his life, which help him better understand who he is. **

**I must say that I was on the Lexicon today, and I saw that they had Dumbledore becoming headmaster circa 1970's so it made me feel better about what I wrote in the second chapter. One final note, The stuff with Rowena, when she says "Sound familiar Severus?" That will be explained later, so don't think I just left that hanging.**

**Thanks to all my reviewers! I am glad everyone likes it so far. If you have suggestions to add or what not let me know, I may re work the chapters later. Oh and a general question, how many of you have read Mitch Alboom's book or watched the movie? Just curious :) **


	5. Love everlasting

**Chapter 5**

_It was Severus's fifteenth birthday today._

_"Look who it is boys, Snivellus!" James Potter mocked in the hall after Potions._

_"Shove off, Potter." Severus sneered._

_"I don't think so, Snivellus. You thought your little trick was pretty funny wasn't it?" Black asked, as he shoved Severus into the dungeon wall._

_"Whatever are you talking about?" Severus asked innocently, knowing that he purposefully exchanged the asphodel for monkshood._

_"Think you can get away with ruining our potions, just because your father is the teacher? You know that Dumbledore only keeps you and your father here, because there is not another sorry excuse for a Potions teacher out there." James said._

_"Well, I was just about to say the same thing about Professor Lupin. Dumbledore is a fool for letting a scrounge of a wolf like his son in this school. Where is the other mutt anyway?" Severus said disgusted. _

_"Why you!" Sirius got defensive and raised his wand to his neck._

_"Why don't you go back to your House, where people actually find your pathetic excuse for wit amusing." Severus said trying to escape the corner._

_James raised his wand, and was about to mutter a hex, but Severus was quicker. Severus had just given James a cut on the back of his hand._

_"You'll be sorry." James said as he covered up the back of his hand. Sirius came to his friend's defense and laid a thick punch in the middle of Severus's stomach. Severus groaned in pain._

_"What in Merlin's name is going on here?" Severus father said as he emerged from the Potion's classroom. James and Sirius quickly backed away, to reveal Severus in the corner trying to stop a bloody nose._

_"Twenty points from Gryffindor for fighting in the corridor, and twenty points from Slytherin for knowing better than to start a row." Severus's father hissed._

_"Sir," James started._

_"Yes Mr. Potter?" Dorian said, not at all amused._

_"Come on Prongs, let's leave while we are ahead." Sirius whispered into James's ear._

_"Never mind."_

_"Good then I suggest you go back to your house." Dorian said turning his back on his son, and slamming the Potion's door. Severus slumped against the cold stone wall, still trying to stop his bleeding nose, defeated._

_"Do you need some help?" Severus heard a girl ask down the hall._

_"No, leave me alone." Severus seethed, embarrassed._

_"You should go see Madame Pomfrey. Let me help you." The girl offered._

_"NO! I am fine." Severus wished that she would just leave, blood dripping down the back of his hand._

_"What happened?" The girl asked still standing next to him._

_"Bloody nose." Severus muttered. He glanced up at her, red hair, green eyes, Severus had never seen anyone that beautiful before._

_"That is some bloody nose. Come on, you need to see Madame Pomfrey." The girl said, taking Severus's hand. Severus quickly pulled away from her touch._

_"What's your name, your in my Potions class, aren't you?" _

_"Sniv.. I mean Severus." Severus said still upset._

_"Well Severus, my name is Lily, it is nice to meet you." Lily said trying to make conversation. _

_"I need my book bag, can you point me to it?" Severus asked roughly noticing that she wasn't going anywhere, still pinching his nose with his head tilted up._

_"Here, I will carry it for you, your nose is still bleeding, I think you should really go.." Lily started._

_"Fine, but no girl is going to carry my bag. Severus said grabbing the bag out of her hands, while little drops of blood fell to the ground._

_The two walked to the Infirmary in silence. Severus had never noticed this girl before. He was ashamed that he was even thinking that she was pretty, after all, no one liked Severus Snape, let alone found him appealing._

_"I am sorry about my fellow Gryffindors, they think they are all high and mighty." Lily said as the climbed up the stairs._

_"You're a Gryffindor?" Severus asked almost appalled. _

_"Yes, what House are you in?" She asked._

_"Slytherin, you really do not know who I am?" Severus questioned unbelieving. The whole school knew who he was. He was the son of the evil Potion's instructor. No one talked to him, no one bothered to eat with him, and certainly no one ever tried to be friends with him._

_"Sorry, am I suppose to?" She asked, still rather offended that he sounded disgusted at the fact that she was a Gryffindor._

_"My father is the Potions professor." Severus admitted._

_"Ah, Professor Snape's son. That must be hard." She said as they reached the door of the infirmary._

_Severus looked at her, no one had ever said that to him, but it was true. It was hard being the son of a professor._

_"Yeah, well I have managed well enough." Severus said as he closed himself off again._

_"Yeah, a bloody nose and a black eye, you certainly have." Lily said again._

_"What do you know." Severus said as he walked away from her._

_"Madame Pomfrey?" Lily called out. Poppy came scuttling out from behind one of the curtains._

_"Miss Evans, whatever do you need?" She asked, not seeing Severus sitting on one of the beds holding his nose._

_"Um, it isn't me, it is Severus here." Lily said as she gestured towards him._

_"Master Snape, again? This is the third time this month!" Madame Pomfrey tutted. Severus just turned away embarrassed._

_"Who was it this time? Mister Potter or Mister Black?" She asked as she searched for a potion to stop the nosebleed, and something to help his black eye._

_"It doesn't matter." Severus tried to ignore._

_"Well, I should be going." Lily said as she watched Madame Pomfrey grab a cloth and sit next to Severus._

_"Miss Evans, wait, I have another student that needs more urgent care, you however can help Master Snape." She said motioning for Lily to come towards Severus._

_"Uh, I don't think I know what I am doing." She said nervously._

_"Madame Pomfrey, I can do it myself." Severus said trying desperately to avoid more embarrassment._

_"Hush Severus, Miss Evans, just hold this cloth over his eye for ten minutes or so." She said as she took Lily's hand and placed it over Severus's eye. Severus flinched at her touch._

_"Sorry." She said meekly._

_"I will be back shortly. Severus, do try and be more careful next time." She said as she disappeared back behind the curtain._

_Lily and Severus sat next to each other, not speaking. Severus's nose had stopped bleeding now. With his good eye, Severus would glance over once in a while, to see if she was as uncomfortable as he was._

_"Does it hurt?" She asked._

_"No." Severus said._

_"So, do you come here often?" She asked referring to what Madame Pomfrey said earlier._

_"Not if I can help it." _

_"You shouldn't let them pick on you, you know."_

_"I shall keep that in mind the next time they corner me." Severus said sarcastically._

_"You know, you're not so bad when you relax." Lilly commented._

_"Look, why don't you just leave, and tell your Gryffindor friends how pathetic I am, I am sure they would enjoy that." Severus said irritated._

_"I would never do something like that. Besides, I don't have many friends myself." Lily confessed._

_"Saint Evans has no friends, now I have heard everything." Severus laughed a little, causing his side to hurt, from when he was punched earlier._

_"Don't laugh it is true." She said as she hit his arm playfully._

_"You know we could be friends." Lily said, taking the cloth off his eye, and looking as his dark spheres._

_"There are an infinite number of reasons why we should not be friends, the first being that you have only known me for twenty minutes, and the second and more important is that you are a Gryffindor."_

_"I have seen you in my classes, I like you, different houses or not." Lily said._

_Severus noticed that she smelled of berries and spring. He took her hand off of his eye, and with that the two fifteen year olds shared a kiss. That was Severus's best birthday ever._

**SSS**

"Hello Severus, I have been waiting for you." A familiar face smiled as she helped him up.

"Miss Potter, how kind." Severus said, his voice could not hide the pain.

"Lily, Severus, call me Lily." She said.

Severus looked around at the scenery. It was snowing again. A tree was lit up with fairy lights in front of him. There were two presents under the tree, and two tree stumps sat next to each other.

"Where are we?" Severus asked.

"Do you not remember?" Lily asked.

"It was a long time ago Lily." Severus said growing tired.

"It was Christmas 1975." She said looking into his eyes.

"The last time we were together." Severus said walking towards the tree.

"I have missed you." She said, staying back, watching him as he stared at the lights.

"How could you have missed me?" Severus stated.

"It may have not turned out the way you wished, but it doesn't change how I felt about you, and still feel about you." Lily said, touching him on the shoulder.

"Then why did you marry him?" Severus asked hurt.

"You were my first love Severus, not my only love." Lily tried to reason.

"You were my only." Severus confessed. He sensed that Heaven was like a natural Veritiseurm, things were seemingly coming out of his mouth, without restraint.

"I know." Lily said trying to get him to look at her.

"My father did not approve. I did everything in my power to make you hate me, just so my father and your Gryffindor friends would leave me be." Severus said again, thinking of the day when he called her a mudblood.

"I know your father did not approve, but I must confess that I could have never married you. You know that, in your heart you always knew we would have never worked out. You were too good for me." Lily sat down on one of the stumps, making sure her red overcoat hung over the edge of the cut tree.

"I was the one who was not good enough for you." Severus said letting out a sigh.

The two sat in silence for a while, Severus glancing over at her every now and then.

**SSS**

_"Come with me." A younger Severus said._

_"Where are we going? It is snowing outside." Lily said, grabbing her cloak as Severus practically pulled her out of the Great Hall._

_It was Christmas break and all of the students were gone, except for Lily and Severus. Sirius spent the holidays with James, and all Slytherin students went home to their parents. The other students in Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff were around, but most spent the holiday in their common room._

_"I have something to show you." Severus said._

_"All right, but slow down, my legs aren't as long as yours." Lily said. _

_Severus was finally happy. He had grown three inches in the past three months, making him taller than his father. James and Sirius had also tired of their bulling of Severus, and left him mostly to himself. Severus would meet Lily in the library after classes, where they would help each other with classes. Severus would help her in potions, where she would help him in Transfigurations, a class he detested._

_"Where are we going?" Lily asked as Severus led her down past the lake, on the Hogwarts grounds._

_"You'll see." Severus said._

_"Now close your eyes." Severus said as they approached the surprise._

_"Severus! Are you insane?" She asked, half laughing._

_"No, come on close your eyes." Severus said again, more serious._

_"Okay, but you better not leave me out here." She joked._

_Severus did not respond. He whispered a spell and Lily raised her eyebrows as she sensed light through her closed eyes._

_"Okay, you may open them." He said. Lily opened her eyes and stood in awe. Severus had decorated a pine tree in a clearing. He had spelled fairies to light the tree, as well as a few decorations. There were two crackers under the tree, as well as two presents._

_"Oh Severus, this is amazing. Where did you get the fairies?" She asked._

_"I nicked them from my father." Severus said._

_"What if he finds out?" Lily asked concerned._

_"He won't find out." Severus said as he gestured for her to sit down._

_"This is amazing Severus." She said again._

_"Happy Christmas. I know you were upset about not being able to go home, but I come here every Christmas, I though you might like it too." Severus said._

_"Thank you, this is the best gift ever." She said as she hugged him._

_"Your welcome, but this isn't the gift. This is." Severus said as he handed her a rectangle box._

_"What is it?" She asked._

_"Just open it." Severus said, his eyes wide open. He had spent nearly all his savings on it. Lily ripped off the wrapping paper, and lifted the lid to the box. There it was, a cloak. A beautiful cloak with velveteen lining._

_"This is beautiful, Severus." Lily said as she lifted it out of the box._

_"Put it on." Severus said. Lily did what he said, and as she wrapped it around her shoulders, she noticed that this was not an ordinary cloak._

_"My body's gone!" She exclaimed in surprise._

_"It is an invisibility cloak." Severus said with a proud look on his face._

_"Where did you get it?" Lily said in awe._

_"I bought it, for you. Do you like it?" Severus asked._

_"I love it. Thank you Severus, this is the best Christmas ever." Lily said as she drew him in for a kiss. _

_"Severus!" The two spun around on their seats. There in front of him, was his father._

_"Miss Evans, go back to your house immediately! Mister Snape, come with me." Dorian yelled._

_"Dad, please!" Severus begged, embarrassed that his father had caught him._

_"You are to address me as Professor! I suggest you do not speak." Dorian hissed._

_"Goodbye, Severus. Thank you." She whispered as she took her new cloak and left Dorian and Severus by themselves._

_As soon as Lily had disappeared from sight. Dorian grabbed Severus by the collar._

_"What the hell do you think you are doing? With a muggleborn no less." Dorian hissed._

_"Let go of me." Severus said angered._

_"No son of mine will date a mudblood!" Dorian snapped._

_"What?" Severus said surprised._

_"Did she not tell you? Of course not. She is a mudblood Severus." Dorian said._

_"You're lying!" Severus yelled, confused. Lily had never told him that she was a muggleborn._

_"You are not to see her again, do I make myself clear." Dorian said._

_"I don't believe you!" Severus yelled, as he turned his back on his father._

_Dorian grabbed Severus by his collar, but this time Severus acted first, and pushed his father to the ground. Shocked at his strength, Severus ran back to the castle, he had attacked his father, a Hogwarts professor. Severus may have gotten detention for it, but he stopped being afraid of his father's strength that day._

**SSS**

"You never opened your other present." Severus said, pointing at the other gift underneath the tree.

"I never had a chance." Lily said.

"Open it now." Severus said, limping to the gift.

"What will it change Severus?" Lily asked.

"Nothing now, but just open it, will you?" Severus said somewhat annoyed.

"All right." Lily said, as she pulled off the wrapping from the little box. She lifted the hinged lid, and saw a beautiful necklace with a heart shaped locket pendant.

"That is beautiful Severus." Lily said sincerely.

"It was my mother's." Severus said looking at it, forgetting how much he missed his mother.

"She gave it to you?' Lily asked.

"Yes, I told her that I wanted to give something special to a girl I liked, and she gave me this. I did not have picture of you to put in it, but I thought that you might have one." Severus said taking the locket in his hand.

"I am sorry things had to end that night." Lily said.

"You should have told me that you were a muggleborn." Severus admitted.

"I know I should have, but you should have told me that were only to marry a pureblood." Lily said.

"I never married, I could not, not after I knew what love was suppose to feel like. How I wanted to though, just to spite you. What did you see in him Lily?" Severus asked.

"He loved me, he made me laugh, held me when I cried. He was there for me when my parents died. He did not judge me." Those last words cut deep. Severus looked away.

"You gave him the cloak, which conveniently your son inherited. How could you? You changed." Severus hissed.

"He found the cloak, I never gave it to him, intentionally, but I loved James. I would not have married him if I did not. I still cared about you though, and James hated that." Lily said trying to touch his hand. He withdrew.

"You yourself changed after we left Hogwarts, and you talk as if it was all my fault. You joined the Death Eaters! Why?" Lily asked.

"You would not understand." Severus said upset.

"Try me Severus."

"You never understood me, you always acted as if you cared, but yet I scared you. You are right, we weren't meant for each other." Severus said.

"Why did you join them?"

"Because I would have never gotten a chance anywhere else. I wanted to prove my father wrong. I wanted to make something of myself."

"You were always something Severus, you just never believed. You never saw it in yourself." Lily said.

**SSS**

The two sat watching the fairy lights on the tree. No matter how much they fought, Severus still cared about her. It was the only thing that kept him from strangling Harry everyday in Potions class.

"Have you met your son yet? Here in Heaven I mean." Severus asked, looking up at the sky.

"No, not yet. I do not know if I will." Lily said.

"He died before me. The boy never got a chance to truly live. We knew both knew it would end that way though, how could it have ended any differently?" Severus said.

"Yes, but at least he lived for a time. I could not have bear to see my son killed in front of me." Lily said.

"I am sorry I could not save you, or your family. I tried, but James never trusted me after all. He did not believe me." Severus said.

**SSS**

_It was Severus's 18th birthday today._

_"Hey watch it Snivellus." James said as he ran into the teenager._

_"Watch it yourself Potter." He nearly spat._

_"What's this? Doing a bit of light reading?" James said, grabbing the book he was carrying out of his hand._

_"Give that back, Pompous Potter." Severus snapped back._

_"Ooh, The Divine Art of the Dark Arts, light reading my arse." James noted._

_"Mind your own idiotic brain, Potter." Severus said, grabbing the book out of his hand. _

_As Severus grabbed the book, his sleeve fell down over his elbow, revealing a black tattoo on his left forearm. _

_"What the hell is that?" Potter asked._

_"None of your business." Severus said as he quickly shoved his sleeve back over his arm._

_"That's one of them Dark Marks my dad's been taking about." James said giving him an incriminating look._

_"Shove off." Severus said turning to walk away from his enemy, but there stood Lily, with tears threatening to fall. The boy she once knew, was now a man she wished she didn't._

SSS

"I may have not agreed with choices as a teenager Severus, but I was happy that you saw the error in your ways. You did a lot for the Order."

"I did what I had to. I never told anyone, but that day when you looked at me, I thought part of me had died. I never cared what anyone thought, except for you." Severus said.

"I never meant to hurt you Severus." Lily said.

"Just tell me one thing, did you love me?" Severus asked.

"Yes Severus, I loved you."

"I am sorry I made mistakes. I was young and foolish."

"It was suppose happen, don't you see. There are no accidents. You were suppose to become a teacher. You were meant to help the Order, and you were meant to look out for my son.

**SSS**

_It was Severus's 23rd birthday today. He was at an Order meeting._

_"Severus, anything to report?" Albus Dumbledore asked. _

_"No sir." Severus said from the corner._

_"Well, thank you everyone, keep safe, and remember keep one eye open." Albus concluded the meeting._

_Severus got up and glided out of the room. He was tired and wanted to go home, but he was not alone._

_"Severus, wait a moment, please." He heard her sweet voice say._

_"What do you want Potter." He now called her, just to spite her._

_"Lily? Are you coming, we really should be going, you need your rest." Severus heard James Potter say from the other room._

_"I will be there in a minute, James." She said._

_"What do you want with him?" James sneered as he saw Severus standing next to her._

_"James, please, go talk with Padfoot." She urged._

_"Fine, but no good can come from talking to HIM you know." James said as he turned and walked out the room. Severus made a face._

_"Ignore him, he is just upset because well, he is under a lot of stress." Lily tried to explain._

_"Stress is no excuse. I am under extreme amount of stress, and I somehow find restraint." Severus bit out._

_"Yes, of course." Lily said, trying to show understanding._

_"So, anything of importance, Evans or do you just wish to babble." Severus said annoyed._

_"Well, you see um, James and I, well were are having a baby." Lily said half smiling._

_"Ha. Good evening." Severus said not amused._

_"I am not making this up, Severus I am serious." Lily said now also somewhat annoyed._

_"I did not doubt you, I just do not see why this concerned me." Severus said, staring past Lily._

_"I am worried something will happen, Severus I have a favor to ask." Lily asked._

_"Make it quick." Severus said pulling out his pack of cigarettes._

_"If something should happen, please look out for my child." She asked, now looking at him straight in the eyes._

_As Severus went to respond, his forearm started to ache. He was being called. Severus quickly wrapped his hand over his forearm and turned to leave._

_"Severus?" Lily asked._

_"I have to go, I want no part of Potter's child." Severus said coldly._

_"And what of my child?" Lily yelled._

_Severus paused, closed his eyes and conceded._

_"I will see that is safe, no more." Severus said, and with a 'pop' he was gone._

**SSS**

"I also knew that you would be there for Harry, when I was not. You were noble in life." Lily said taking his hand.

"I only did it for you, I looked out for him, even if I hated what he was, a Potter." Severus said.

"He looked just like Potter, it was a cruel joke really." Severus said as he rubbed his thumb over her tiny hand.

"I always told James that all Harry had from me was my eyes." Lily smiled.

"You need not remind me." Severus said, taking a deep breath.

"But, I hate to admit this but he had your heart, and it was because of it, I lived." Severus said looking her in the eyes.

"You know Severus, love never goes away, it just changes. I loved you at one time, I still love you now but it takes on a different form." Lily explained.

"I believe Albus told me once that, the ones who love us never really leave us. They are always here." Lily said as she put her other hand over his heart.

There she was, inches away from him. She still smelled of berries and spring. Severus pressed his lips against hers, and they shared a kiss.

"Dance with me Severus." Lily said.

"I do not think I can." Severus said pointing to his leg.

"Of course you can, come on." She said as she got up and held her hand out for him to join her.

The two swayed back and forth, until it had stopped snowing, but for Severus it only seemed like a second. Lily told him that it was time for her to move on, but Severus did not want to let go. She smiled, and walked towards the horizon. There went his first love, his last love, and his only.

**A/N: I hope everyone had a happy holiday. Here is a late present from me. I hope you like it. I am so excited that Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince will be out two days before my birthday. Only one person left in the story!!! Please review.**


	6. Coming Home

**A/N: I just wanted to thank all my reviewers. Sorry for the long long long delay, but I wasn't sure about this chapter. I like it much better now, but I think it plays out so much better in my head sometimes than it does on paper. Anyway, please read and review. Let me know if you want more or would like me to other versions. I love you all!**

**Chapter 6**

Severus closed his eyes, taking in the last scents of his love. He did not want her to leave. Despite everything that had happened between them, he knew that now it did not matter. All that mattered was the fact that she was there while others were not.

The snow faded away and was replaced with lush green grass, the type that was only present for a month in the summer. Severus knew that who ever he was to meet next, must enjoy the sun, something he did not. Slowly he saw three large golden goal post rise from the ground. Severus looked up towards the sky, and saw nothing but blue sky above him.

There Severus Snape stood directly in the middle of Hogwart's Quidditch pitch, but saw no one. Who's heaven was this? Why had they brought him here? These questions were soon to be answered when he saw a faint dark spot high in the sky coming down towards him.

"Hello Snape." A young man with black hair and glasses said to him as he dismounted from his broom.

"James Potter?" Severus asked almost disgusted.

"No, sorry to disappoint, it is just Harry." He said lightly.

"Mr. Potter, leave it to you to pick a Quidditch field as your heaven." Severus scoffed.

"It was here where I was truly happy. All my thoughts and obligations were gone, and for a moment I was free." Harry said as he looked his old professor up and down.

"Who would have thought the student would be come teacher?" Severus said lightly laughing.

"Fortunately for you Snape, I do not wish to bore my classes with drawn out lectures on the history of the wiggenweld potion." Harry jabbed back.

"How very amusing Potter, it seem your brain did retain something after all."

"Aren't you in the least bit curious why I am your fifth person? I mean out of everyone you have ever know why I was chosen?" Harry asked after a few moments together in utter silence.

"I suppose it is because you were the bane of my existence and what would life be after all without one?" Severus spoke sarcastically.

"Very funny, but no." Harry said closing his eyes.

"You killed me." Harry said more seriously.

"What are you talking about, you died at Voldermort's hands not mine." Severus said highly offended.

"You knew what was to happen, you knew he was going to kill me." Harry said more forcefully now.

Severus was unable to find words. He knew Potter was right, he knew he was leading the boy to death, but he did it anyways. 'Everything for the good of the war', Albus always said to him. Severus however, did not carry with him the Headmaster's optimistic outlook on the future of Harry Potter. Severus knew the boy only had one fate, and that was to kill the Dark Lord, but in doing so sacrifice himself.

"What do you want me to say Potter?" Severus now said his mouth having gone dry.

"Say my name." Harry said.

"What?" Severus asked confused.

"Say my name, and mean it like a friend. Say my name with good intention. Say my name like it should have been said before you took me to my death." Harry said now slightly advancing on Severus.

Severus stood, watching this man whom he watched grow from a boy to the tall brave man that he became before his death. Severus never brought himself to say "Harry" before. It made it feel too personal, too connected. He hated that.

"Well?" Harry asked again.

"Yes? Oh all right." Severus finally said looking him in his eyes seeing the hurt and pain of 18 years of his young life.

"I am sorry Harry Potter." Severus said as best he could.

"Again." Harry said, not satisfied.

"I am sorry Harry Potter!" Severus said louder this time.

"Say Harry, it won't kill you, your all ready dead." Harry joked.

"I am sorry Harry." Severus now said with a hitch in his voice. It was his fault this man was dead. He wanted to die that day on the battlefield so he would not face the guilt that he felt, but instead he was to relive it every night in his dreams.

"That wasn't so bad was it?" Harry asked.

"It was horrid." Severus said in distaste.

SSS

"Sir, how was it after the war I mean?" Harry asked. As the two walked around the Qudditch pitch.

"The Dark Lord was gone, if that's what you wanted to know. I couldn't say things were better, but then again I was not in a position to judge." Severus said as he avoided Harry's gaze.

"What do you mean? You felt that things stayed the same?" Harry asked.

"No, not for many people, but for me yes. I should have died. I had prepared myself for it, death I could have handled, life I did not want nor expected."

"But it was not your time." Harry stated as did the others.

"Yes, yes I have heard that, but what does that mean? I lived while others died, did I not? I made more students lives miserable as their Potions Professor. I never married, I never did anything more in life. I was just me, pathetic old _Snivellus_." Severus stated with feeling.

"There was a girl was there not when you died?" Harry asked, Severus's eyes widened. He had nearly forgotten. The poor girl, another victim at his hands. Severus knew he should not have made her stay. He was old and bitter, and Longbottom was an innocent bystander.

"Yes, but I fear she died. I remember feeling her hands on my shoulders, then nothing." Severus said with some urgency.

"Those were not her hands on your shoulders, those were my hands."

"Your hands?" Severus asked.

"I pulled you up to heaven. I am the reason you are here now." Harry explained.

"You? But why? You hated me. I was cruel and unfair." Severus said.

"Everyone has a story, everyone is on earth for a reason. You were meant to be a spy. You were meant to teach me. You were meant to save the girl." Harry explained.

"Do you see? You were a man who lived his life the best way you knew how. Perhaps at times you were quick to judge and harsh, but you made me a better man because of it, as well as all the students you have taught over the years. You taught us lessons that everyone else was too afraid to teach."

"We are all connected, and your part in the story is never truly over. It is now other's turn to learn from you. People will come to you looking for the same lessons that you have learned. You are now ready to share your knowledge with others."

"The girl lived then?" Severus asked trying to digest what Potter had told him.

"Yes, she will live, but she will also will die, and so goes the circle of life." Harry continued.

"It seems so simple, but yet people spend their whole life trying to decipher the meaning of life. I only wish I knew in life what I know now." Severus admitted.

"And if you did? Would you live your life differently? Would you act differently?" Harry asked, already knowing the answer.

Severus stood quietly and thought about everything he had gone through, Headmaster Dippet, Albus Dumbledore, Rowena Ravenclaw, Lily Potter, and now Harry Potter, they all taught him lessons which knowing now he felt all the wiser, but perhaps deep down he knew the lessons. They were always with him, but seemed unimportant and irrelevant in life.

Severus understood now. He understood that he would not have changed. He could not have, for he was meant to live the life of an outcast and spy, it was the only life he could ever know

"No, I would not." Severus answered.

"You knew the lessons all along, it is God's way of acting in mysterious ways." Harry smiled. Severus noticed that he looked at peace, as did everyone he had met in heaven. Now Severus could be in peace knowing that his life did mean something, as does everyone's.

"So that is it? I have met my five people?" Severus questioned.

"Yes, you may now choose your heaven and wait for those you are to teach. Of course you could stay a bit longer and play me at a game of Quidditch." Harry smiled.

Severus sighed, he knew that this boy, no man was fine. He had spent half of his life regretting what he had done, but was now at peace to see the boy happy for once. To see the man with the lightning bolt scar playing Quidditch and smiling was enough to give the Potions Master his redemption.

Severus mounted a broom, and the two were off like a shot. The last time Severus had played Quidditch was when he was thirteen years old. He had not felt this light in his whole life. Racing around on a broom with his mortal enemy's son made him strangely happy.

"Hey, Snape did you ever play Quidditch at school?" Harry asked.

"Yes, one year." Severus answered.

"What position?"

"What do you think? Seeker." Severus smiled coyly.

As the two finished the game, Severus stepped off his broom, and slowly Potter's heaven faded away. Severus closed his eyes one last time, before opening them to the most joyous scene he could ever ask for. There Severus stood in the middle of the Great Hall, Hogwarts his home. Severus Snape finally returned home.

'Welcome home, Severus." He heard several people say. There to his right stood Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall, and Hagrid.

"Welcome home Severus." He heard more people say to his left. There stood his mother, his father, and Lily Evans.

Severus took his customary seat at the Head table, as food filled the tables. Severus looked around and knew he was finally home.

SSS

"I have been waiting for you." An old woman with long black curly hair heard her old Potions Professor say as she stood in the middle of his Great Hall.

Everyone has five people to meet in heaven whose will yours be?


End file.
